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<title>Family Guy fan-fiction, The Hammer of Fatherly Love by artistdavidwmontague</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27196819">Family Guy fan-fiction, The Hammer of Fatherly Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/artistdavidwmontague/pseuds/artistdavidwmontague'>artistdavidwmontague</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Family Guy (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Comedy, Education, Gen, Humor, Music, Musicians, Satire</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:00:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>177</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27196819</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/artistdavidwmontague/pseuds/artistdavidwmontague</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Meg Griffin decides to take up playing the viola in a pathetic attempt to become more popular. </p><p>Peter decides to join in on the fun by taking up playing the Mahler hammer (btw that's an obscure yet powerful musical instrument) in a pathetic attempt to form a bond between himself and his meaty, butcher-armed "loser" of a daughter. </p><p>All seems hopeless until a family of friendly and lovable cockroaches decide to intervene and save the day. </p><p>So if you love cockroaches (And Family Guy), you're going to love this poignant "daddy-daughter" musical cautionary tale. Or maybe you won't. How should I know? Anyway, be well and have an excellent day!</p>
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</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Family Guy fan-fiction, The Hammer of Fatherly Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My 4-fun work of fan-fiction is an entire 35-page (authentically scripted) silly story that I made into an easy-to-navigate PDF file.</p><p>And copying and pasting all 35 pages here (into this white box) may not be a practical thing to do, given that the story's formatting and footnotes may not be fully preserved (correct spacing, indentations and educational links). </p><p>So here's a convenient link to the complete PDF file. Don't worry, it's nothing spammy, no interruptive commercials...just artsy, humorously educational stuff that I made for some friends and decided to try to "AO3" share:</p><p>https://drive.google.com/file/d/1R0zc_NrKCYGxrodvR85VqC4i-WliZv4H/view?usp=sharing</p><p>Okay, that's it. Hope you like my sense of humor. And I hope the public PDF-link (Google-drive) works. If not I suppose I could try to refit the whole thing into this box. But I am rather lazy. Quick, yes, but a bit lazy at times. </p><p>In any event, that's one of my fan-fictions. This nerdly "loser" thanks you for stopping by. Have a beautiful and creative day!</p><p>Sincerely,</p><p>Dave, the author</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"It takes a violist to compose a truly annoyingly sophisticated viola joke."<br/>-- Friedrich Nietzsche</p><p>Greetings, fan-fiction folks, fellow artists and creative nerds. I hope you enjoyed my silly story. Why on earth did I bother to write it? Good question. Thank you for asking!</p><p>Boring explanation: I wrote it as a 4-fun public service announcement intended to help explain the importance of making sure that kids have lots of opportunities to learn to play musical instruments. In short, learning to play music tends to make kids smart and optimizes their chances of doing well both socially and academically. So always make sure that kids have lots of opportunities to take music lessons. Well, anything besides the viola. I cannot in good conscience recommend playing the viola.  </p><p>Slightly less boring backstory: My original inspiration was in response to being mocked (just because I play the viola!) by a jerk who teased me with a series of mean-spirited viola jokes until I had no choice but to cry like a little baby. </p><p>Ever hear about viola jokes? Not unlike life, viola jokes can be very cruel and unfair. Thing is, her viola jokes were not even that funny. And nor was she any good at telling them. Her timing was awful. So in order to prove that violists are not the subhuman losers that her awful viola jokes implied, I made up a viola joke (involving a Mahler hammer) that was so sophisticated that she did not even understand it. Hence the logical need to explanatively expand and dramatize the viola joke into a full-blown imaginary episode of Family Guy. </p><p>For the sake of added verisimilitude, I even applied an authentic cartoon-style screenplay format by inferring it directly from a publicly viewable PDF file of the show's opening script from over 20 years ago. </p><p>Given that the show was known both for its tastelessness and musical overtones, Family Guy seemed like a poetically apt artistic vehicle with which to make a colorful statement on the subject of tasteless viola jokes as well as with respect to the increasingly tasteless and malfunctional music biz. </p><p>Plus the character of Meg Griffin had so much in common with the viola-joke-subhuman "losers" typically inaccurately portrayed by viola jokes that she seemed perfect for the part. </p><p>Final thoughts and observations: And are violists losers? Perhaps. But most of us are not subhuman. In fact, many violists are almost indistinguishable from members of the general population. So please think twice before making fun of violists.</p><p>"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle."<br/>-- Plato</p></blockquote></div></div>
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